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Free From Bondage

Forgiveness Unleashes Strength

JM Perez By JM Perez4 min read1.2K views

“Forgiveness is above all a personal choice, a decision of the heart to go against natural instinct to pay back evil with evil.” — Pope John Paul II

As a teenager, I often heard my mother say that some people are born without conscience. I knew she said it to ease some of my pain and to get me started on my healing journey. Life as we know is and will always remain a mystery; what I know for sure however, is that people are born equal and heredity sets us apart. Everyone has a conscience which allows us to act on our choices and decision making. Once in a while, my mom would repeat that statement as we jokingly poked at the past, and somehow it just infuriates me now.

As a child, I was a third-party observer to constant intentional psychological, emotional and physical abuse toward someone very dear to me-from someone I loved and trusted. By the time I became a teenager, I was scarred by those horrendous, repeated acts of violence. I was still a child, weak and helpless, who knew the corrupt system couldn’t help me and worst, would conspire against me. I went from a third-party observer to an actual victim. While living daily through extreme fear and uncertainty, the trauma of my sister’s sudden and unexpected death left me in a dark place. I was alone with an unstable mind, going through a deep depression. I was literally a walking dead …

For months, I was consumed by anger, mainly towards myself for being weak. I sought help and was blessed by the generosity of some and the invaluable advice of others. After witnessing my mother slip into a deep depression herself, as she struggled not only to cope with the death of her child, but also to keep me alive, I made the conscious decision to forgive my offender in order for both my mother and myself to live. What was done was done and I could not change that. The only thing I could do was to let go of the pain and chose to live. I made that choice willingly and reinvented myself. To this day I never received an apology and I do not expect one. I am much happier and more understanding now.

“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.” — Louise Hay

It’s extremely hard to forgive someone who has deeply hurt us and refuses to make amends, especially when every single cell in your body screams for retribution. It’s a feeling I know too well, since I survived it and came out stronger than ever. What can forgiveness do for you?

  • It frees you
  • It heals you
  • It strengthens you
  • It improves your health
  • It nurtures your mind
  • It cleanses your soul
  • It improves your self-esteem
  • It unleashes your compassionate side
  • It releases you from the past
  • It helps you live the moment
  • It’s a personal gift (blessing) to yourself
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Too many of us have been thought that forgiving someone who has hurt us is a sign of weakness, and doing so gives the person more control over us. We have been thought that getting even with the perpetrator is the only way, if not the best way to regain our peace. Though two wrongs have never made a right, sometimes given a person a taste of their own medicine can redirect them to the right direction. This has nothing to do with revenge, but assisting someone in walking in your shoes. It’s about aiding someone to see the World through your lenses. Revenge, as the dictionary defines it, is to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, especially in a resentful or vindictive spirit. Though tempting, we should not contemplate revenge for the following reasons:

  • It doesn’t ease the hurt
  • It doesn’t return things to their original state
  • The satisfaction is temporary
  • It leaves you bitter and empty
  • It’s an endless nightmare
  • In the end, it can be punishable by law

You cannot change the past and you cannot force your offender to restore your peace. You alone have the power to heal your wounds by embracing yourself as you are. It takes time to heal and while going through the process, choose to forgive yourself and choose to love yourself again.

After some time has passed, you will realize that your offender’s apologies wouldn’t have made a difference. They hurt you deeply, perhaps willingly or unwillingly and may have achieved their goal (to destabilize you). However, none of that matters. Yes, the hurt remains. How you respond to injustice done to you will determine the outcome of the well-being (restoring your peace sooner or slowing down your healing process).

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” — Catherine Ponder

Do not make excuses to shield yourself from what happen. Do not attempt to understand why it happened and do not expect an explanation or an apology. Just acknowledge that it happened. Take back control of your life and do not hold unto your past and your pain. You are no longer a victim and you are no longer a slave to those memories. Believe that you will get through it.

Self-Freedom

JM Perez By JM Perez2 min read529 views

Self-Freedom, Breaking Free from Bondage, Mind Healing, Seeking the path to Serenity, call it whatever you want as long as it means being at peace with ourselves and our surrounding.

“I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” – Harriet Tubman

Image Source.
Image Source.

We are all slaves of the mind and each one of us in our way is still struggling to break free (often without realizing it). We struggle with honesty, patience, understanding, gratitude, pride, shame, envy, bitterness, gossip, revenge, acceptance, communication, broken promises, forgetfulness, forgiveness, deceits, betrayal, illnesses, letting go, we compete for love, for perishable things as well as nurturing other bad habits just to name a few. Our lack of knowledge is the main cause for us missing on opportunities and being rewarded for what is rightly ours.

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. – Hosea 4:6 (NKJV)

When you stay true to yourself, live in accordance with and act in obedience with the Word of God, you change not only the way people view you, but you change people as well. Once you believe and come to terms with the fact that the Word of God is precise, clear, true and that everything you learn and relate back with the World can be found in Scriptures, then and only then will you achieve self-freedom and break free from bondage.

Stand your grounds, guard your heart and thoughts, do not let anyone fool or use you and do not willingly put yourself in a compromising situation. Know and understand the God you serve and trust that His Words, which are alive and active will prevail and free you from the hands of your oppressors.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)

My heart goes out to the Boston Marathon bombing victims. I pray that the souls of the departed rest peacefully in the Almighty’s arms and wish a painless and swift recovery to the injured.