Early this afternoon, the mail man delivered a special package. Inside this package were some souvenirs Mom brought back from her recent trip to Cameroon and France. I have been looking forward to seeing its content, even though I wasn’t sure how I would react and how it would impact my current state of mind. One is never too prepared for what to expect in life. Today, after fifteen years, I got to see my sister’s beautiful face before her final rest. I remembered all the little details on that treacherous Saturday morning of May 2nd, 1998.
For the first few days following her burial, I looked at her pictures every night after prayers and before going to sleep. I couldn’t find peace and rest the night I skipped the routine. Her still images were a tremendous source of comfort and I was so grateful that she could bring so much peace within my grieving heart. Some days I would be at peace with the facts and during others, a flow of sorrow would come upon me unexpectedly.
Going through a damaged and incomplete album this afternoon, I was overcome with anger. How could those entrusted with its safekeeping allow it to be exposed to the elements and others, since there are pictures missing. I had to calm myself down and remember that everything I need is indelibly imprinted on my mind. Nothing and no one can take away the memories of a loved one or the truth I’ve come to know. Today I wept, felt anger, laughed and experienced once again the peace that comes from acceptance and letting go.
My heart goes out to my Mother and I will live the rest of my life doing right by her, God being my helper.
We must all face loss at some point in Life. When it happens:
- Give yourself plenty of time to grief. As long as you’re not planning on harming yourself or someone else, there’s no right or wrong way to grief. Deal with it your own way.
- Talk about it. Reach out to someone you trust and open up.
- Seek professional help when needed. Get some support to help you get through it.
- Be gentle with yourself. It happened and nothing you do now will turn back the clock.
- Strive to find joy and the will to carry on. Start by recalling the good memories and building on them.
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” — William Shakespeare
By JM Perez
