Parenting

Proving Yourself Right

JM Perez By JM Perez2 min read1.5K views

Yesterday we attended the Sixth Graders Award Celebration at my kids school and I was so proud of my son. He has been on honor roll for seven years straight without fail. Every teacher knew my son or at least heard about him; and contrary to students who request a particular teacher, my son was sought out by teachers and he never let himself down.

Last year, I wrote about the injustices he experienced by his former teacher as well as a few classmates. By mid February, I was fed up and informed the school principal that I was filling a complaint against the teacher after contacting the US Department of Education as I strongly believed that my child’s rights had been violated.

The following week, my son was placed in a different classroom with an amazing teacher.

“Don’t do it to prove them wrong. Do it to prove yourself right.”
Image source: FearlessMotivation.com

Of course I know my children are geniuses, still, I told my son not to worry about what anyone thinks and just be the best he can be. He listened to his new teacher, followed instructions, kept studying hard and it paid off. Nothing changed in his routine and he proved himself right. Prior to giving him an award, his teacher said, this is a kid who came to me toward the end of the school year and described him as “very respectful, polite, kind, helpful and takes his work seriously.”
You should have seen his former teacher’s guilty face when he received his certificates. She put on a forced smile, couldn’t look straight and didn’t applaud when he was mentioned. As long as he proved her wrong, it was all good.

Talk to your children and encourage them on a daily basis. Teach them and make sure they understand right from wrong to avoid embarrassing and unfortunate situations. Don’t sit still when it comes to their rights; you are not alone (even if others make you feel that way). No one is above the law. Speak up and reach out.

I didn’t get rid of my files, I just moved them aside. If I hear about another student being victimized by this female teacher, I will go ahead and file the complain against her and against the school as well since it is known that she abuses her powers and yet nothing has been done to right the wrong.

Toxic Teachers: The Silent Bullies

JM Perez By JM Perez6 min read2K views

When the bully oppresses you without using words …

Child abuse just doesn’t happen at home. It happens everywhere, especially at schools and from the individuals you would suspect the least: teachers. It seems to be a growing trend lately. Teachers, the silent bullies. These abuses are not limited to assaults, public humiliation, unfair grades, isolation, discrimination,  etc. Bullies are finding new methods to upgrade their game and it is our duty as parents to be watchful.

For the first time in the eight years that my son has attended an elementary school, he is dealing with a teacher who doesn’t like him and who is trying her best to fail him wherever and whenever possible. My son doesn’t slack off and has always been an A student for the past 7 years (above grade level). Every single one of his previous teachers had nothing but good thoughts and best wishes for him. This year, he’s met someone who wants to break his spirit: Mrs. Diaz.

I remember a few years back, when teachers would either call a parent with concerns or send a note home. Things were really good then because of the ongoing communication. Now, some teachers think they can toy with our children just because, you know, they have some authority over our children while we are not watching. My kids are extremely respectful and their greatest flaw is that they are perfectionists and sometimes too smart for their own good. I have an accent due to the fact that I went through a French education system and I have always encourage my children to correct me whenever my pronunciation is off.

A couple of weeks ago, during parent-teacher conference, I realized that my son’s teacher is holding a grudge against him for correcting her in front of the whole class. Mind you, she didn’t bring the issue up until I asked about his behavior in class to which she responded, “he’s rude to me, correcting me all the time.” This is a woman who says she doesn’t believe in punishment, yet she doesn’t hesitate to sanction my son based on her mood of the day. Of course, I apologized and asked why I wasn’t notified of it. I instructed my son right there to stop correcting her. She went on bragging about working towards her master’s degree and her years of teaching. She made the mistake of telling us a story about refusing to help a former student who used to be rude to her. Red flag! Did this woman just tell me she will ruin my son’s life if he keeps on correcting her? Is this behavior acceptable to anyone? For a school with bad ratings and extremely low rankings, these are the type of teachers they hire? Are they just out to destroy our children? And we wonder why our children are struggling so much! Go figure!

Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top.

This school strongly believes that the bad behavior of a single student should tarnish the entire class. The school seems to take pride in this strange idea. The principal says he doesn’t agree with it; however, he told me straight out “I can’t do that” when I suggested he could advice his teachers to stop penalizing the whole class for the behavior of one student. He doesn’t agree, yet he let’s it slide?  This is abuse!
They threaten students to sit them next to someone they dislike/don’t get along with, if they don’t behave. I know this for sure because I talk to other parents, to other kids and to mine. How do you think these kids will feel toward a classmate who gets them punished every time because of the classmate’s bad behavior? Isn’t this another way of encouraging bullying? Am I missing something here?

Sure, they have fun activities for the kids, none of which really help struggling students to learn, read or write.  How about we start listening to parents’ concerns and get those kids some much needed help? What exactly are they celebrating when their school is doing so poorly? 4827th of 5,662 California Public Elementary Schools (rankings for the 2017-18 school year, via SchoolDigger.com). I personally know two parents who took their bright kids out of this school due to discrimination and bad management. Most teachers are great and you can tell teaching is their calling. Others are show-offs who yearn for recognition and play favorites (these are the ones who always look forward to teacher appreciation week).

“Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must fear most and that is the indifference of good men.” – The Boondock Saints

The thing I despise most at this school (and everywhere else) is the fact that some teachers deny kids their right to use the bathroom and force them to hold it. The idea of maintaining control over kids has gone too far. They will give you excuses such as allowing kids to use the bathroom disrupts the class or that kids just want to go out and play (some probably do).  What about when the teachers need to leave? Don’t they go as they please, as often as they please and stay as long as they please?
No excuse gives them the right to put our children’s health at risk. In my daughters class for instance, points are deducted each time (from the group table where the kid seats) whenever a kid from that table leaves to use the bathroom and in other classes, the kids have to move their pin down whenever they go. What if a child develops urinary tract infection, kidney failure from bladder pressure or bowel obstruction, will the school take responsibility? We cannot tell kids when to go and when to hold in waste because that’s not how the body works. This is not right and it’s not a healthy thing to do. This is abuse and neglect.

My kids cannot function properly without water and they need plenty of it throughout the day. At every start of the school year, I make sure their teachers are aware of it. And I also request that they please allow them to use the bathroom whenever they need to. I have seen too many kids covered in waste because their teachers told them to hold it and they couldn’t. I am grateful for my well behaved children, who know to respect their teachers and understand that they are in charge of their own bodies. I have instructed them to politely request to step out when needed and to step out anyway, if their teachers deny them the right to do so.  It is their right.

“Educate your children about abusive personalities, to prepare them for the possibility of meeting such people.” – Joan Ambu

I know we are busy as parents, but please, please, take a few minutes every day to talk to your children. Find out about their day, ask if anything good or bad happened at school and how their teachers treat them. Get involved. Many kids are struggling, not because they are not able, but because they are being silently bullied by their teachers and they feel like they have no voice. Be their voice. Be their strength. Fight their fight and win.
I spoke with a few good teachers who want to see change at the school. But when the head is rotten, what do you expect? Good teachers are a school’s greatest asset, they shape and impact student lives. These students, in turn, are what make the school great.

Here are a few red flags you need to pay attention to:

  • When you raise concern and the teacher ignores you (they are guilty or simply don’t care)
  • When your child complains about a teacher and begs you not to report ( they are afraid of retaliation)
  • When the principal has no interested in getting involved (it’s a toxic school)
  • Bad grades or drop in grades if your child was great (the teacher is discriminating)
  • Stress, sadness if you had a joyful child (abusive teacher)
  • Sudden loss of interest in everything (verbal, mental and psychological abuse)

I don’t think the school will change unless someone steps in and cleans house. You know birds of a feather flock together. Every end of year the school sends out a form to rate its performance for that year and gives opportunity to parents to tell them what they like, dislike and what changes they would like to see. I thought it was a wonderful idea, unfortunately there hasn’t been a single change or improvement (none that I have seen to date).

People don’t change, they adapt when odds are against them. I urge you parents to talk to your children and file complaints with your districts if the schools are unwilling to work with you. Hopefully a higher authority will  rid these toxic schools of their bad seeds.

Update here.

My Daughter’s First Day of School

JM Perez By JM Perez1 min read492 views

Summer holidays are over and it’s back to school for my kids. My son is heading off to third grade and my daughter to Kindergarten. They are both excited and I am relieved knowing that my daughter feels less anxious having her brother by her side. It is the beginning of a new adventure for my daughter.

Minnie Mouse Backpack.
Minnie Mouse Backpack.

And for raining days …

Minnie Mouse Pink Polka Dots Bow Umbrella.
Minnie Mouse Pink Polka Dots Bow Umbrella.

I helped my daughter find her seat, exchanged a few words with her teacher and reassured my child I would return in a couple of hours to pick her up. To ease the separation anxiety between the kids and their parents, the teacher had activities ready for the kids and other fun stuff.

I put the following in her backpack:

  • Hand Sanitizer
  • Kleenex Pocket Pack Tissues
  • Cold and Cough Drops
  • A Bottle of Water
  • “We Love You” Message
  • Notepad and Pencil
  • Healthy and Nutritious Snacks
  • Our Address & Phone Number
  • Sunglasses (100% UV)

She had a good day.
Just like her brother, I know she will do well.

Our Kids-Friendly Garden

JM Perez By JM Perez3 min read245 views

When we inspected our Home a few years ago prior to putting in an offer, I fell in love with the backyard as the numerous structures on the lot broke the land into sections. As I looked onto the side of the house, I spotted a semi-shady corner which was ideal for a Playground and/or a Kid-Friendly Garden.

Corner Garden.

Five years ago, I started by creating a tiny corner garden and added a decorative wrought iron border fence around the garden as well as some color changing solar globe lights along the borders. The selection works well, as it provides a specific learning and playing area for our children. I added two comfortable sitting areas for them to sit still and enjoy conversing, enjoy the day, or for us to relax and watch them play. I have Garden Benches and Patio/Bistro Sets all over my garden as the yard is huge and it can be quite exhausting walking around sometimes. I enjoy retreat areas. Besides, sitting areas in a yard, if placed correctly, create attractive focal points.

A few years ago, I was given a beautiful hand made miniature vintage Mexican clay couple as well as a tiny Puerto Peñasco Pottery Vase. They are now resting underneath one of my Scotch Broom shrubs.

Miniature Vintage Mexican Clay Couple.

The fairy wind spinner is a purchase from Collections Etc., and a gift to my daughter who adores anything fairy and ballerina. It’s a beautiful addition to our front yard as it attracts hummingbirds and twirls in the breeze.

Fairy Wind Spinner.

Somewhere in my backyard, we created this cute little area in memory of our wonderful neighbors and parent figures (one of whom is no longer with us). The picture features their wedding wine glasses, vintage 1960’s spaghetti porcelain poodle dog figurines and a porcelain ornaments box. The huge rustic fisherman metal art was a purchased from Horseshoe Art by Don Henry in Lucerne Valley, CA.

Rustic Fisherman Metal Art.
1960’s Spaghetti Porcelain Poodle Dog Figurines.

We love our Woodland babies!

Collectible Woodland Babies.

The toy frog was a favorite of my son. He placed it himself among the daffodils when he no longer wanted it.

Toy Frog hiding in the Daffodils.

Geckos Metal Wall Art

Geckos Metal Wall Art.

The children at play figurines were also a purchase from Collections Etc.

Children at play figurines.

Some Jim Shore garden stakes.

Jim Shore Garden Stakes.

The balancing love birds stake is in the front yard, next to the water fountain. It gently swings back and forth in the breeze. The Angry Gnome is one of many in our gnome collection.

Balancing Love Birds and Angry Gnome.

These Gnomes on a Ladder are eager to find out what is growing in my daughter’s planter.

Gnomes Climbing a Ladder.

The stone mushrooms were the bases of chain linked posts that were dug up, flipped up side down, and buried. We spray painted them red/green and added white spots.

Stone Mushrooms.

The Conga Line Dog Silhouettes were so hilarious that I decided to get one. The Children Chasing bugs are adorable too.

Conga Line Dog & Children Playing Silhouettes.

One of my daughter’s favorite statues is the Little Girl Gardening statue below. She found a use for the tiny planter.

Little Girl Gardening Statue.

Every time I shop online, my kids look for an opportunity when I step away to add a few favorites of their own in the shopping cart. The Ladybugs are beautiful and the Bunnies are just perfect for Easter.

Ladybugs & Bunnies Crossing.

The Fairy and Deer Friend Shadow Garden Stake is one of my favorite.

Fairy and Deer Friend Shadow Garden Stakes.

There are unlimited ideas and ways to encourage kids to go out …

Sick with Stomach Flu

JM Perez By JM Perez2 min read518 views

Upon waking up on Thursday morning my daughter came down with the stomach flu. She spent the entire day throwing up and taking trips to the bathroom. Though she’s such a strong, lively child and didn’t let her illness bring her down; I felt a wave of helplessness enveloping me. As a parent it’s always heartbreaking watching your child go through something like that. Just as she started getting better; her brother became the next victim and kept me up all night. I helped him clean up, gave him new clothes, changed the sheets and sent him in another room. Little did I know that I was already infected from cleaning contaminated surfaces.

As I began throwing up in the toilet, I heard my boy doing the same in his. How could I possibly take care of my sick child while I was fighting the same fight? It was a long, uncomfortable and painful night. At least, my daughter was sound asleep (I would have lost my mind otherwise). With much luck, we made it through the night until my husband came home this morning (took over for a little while to give me time to rest and recuperate) before beginning throwing up himself. We called my son’s school to let them know he wouldn’t make it in today.

When I Recover ... (Source).
When I Recover … (Source).

What a way to spend the weekend! To be held hostage by the Stomach Flu. At least we are still alive and we are getting much better. I started disinfecting the house and as soon as I am 100% on my feet, I will be sanitizing the kids toys  and deep cleaning the carpets. As of now we will stay hydrated and make the most of our day.

According to Health.com, we should try to avoid drinking too much plain water, or beverages like soda or juice that contain sugar, but not enough of the right electrolytes, says Dr. Rogg. Putting water into your body without adding electrolytes will dilute the electrolytes that still remain in your body, Dr. Rogg explains, while taking in sugar without salt can make your diarrhea worse. WikiHow suggests to make your own oral rehydration solution if you’re struggling to stay hydrated or you can’t leave the house to buy an electrolyte solution at the pharmacy. Mix the following, and drink as much as you can:

  • 4.25 cups (1 litre) clean water
  • 6 tsp (30 ml) sugar
  • 0.5 tsp (2.5 ml) salt

Also, according to the website wtsp.com, ‘Stomach Flu’ could be caused by your refrigerator. The article, which you can read here, recommends to check out your refrigerator and make sure it is at 40 degrees or below, to follow safe food handling at home to prevent deadly food poisoning.

Click here or here to figure out if you are suffering from Stomach Flu (Gastroenteritis) or Influenza.