Children Learn What They Live Archives – Page 2 of 3

Neighbors from Hell

By JM PerezDecember 20, 20214 min read944 views

“Temptations are part of life, part of growing up. We grapple with them often – in some instances for our lifetime – before we come to realize that it is not so much the victory as it is the struggle that is holy.” — Joan D. Chittister

I have always thought that being a drama free and kind person will only bring me good fortune and attract more kind people; you know, like birds of a feather flocking together. I thought I had seen pretty much all kinds of poor behaviors and various levels of wickedness, until a family moved in next door three years ago. In the past, I didn’t give them any attention, unless it had to do with disrespect. Now, they are using my home address without my consent to receive packages. They are truly neighbors from hell. These people probably asked about the neighborhood prior to buying the house. There is none like them here, none! And there are three words they never say: sorry, thank you, and please.

Early in 2018, just a few days after moving in, they introduced weed in this part of the neighborhood. A few weeks later, the husband and wife hit our roof with a metal object at the end of a rope, while attempting to cut down a dead pine tree and never apologize, so I called the Police. In 2020 their tenant threatened me in the presence of the homeowner, so I filed a report with the Police. Early this year, their oversized trampoline flew and landed halfway into our backyard fence, damaging a few wood panels (see picture here). Between the months of June and August 2021, their Pitbull jumped our six foot fence five times, we told them the third time it happened, and I called Animal Control the last time. Early in September, they had one of their four cameras pointing into our front yard and I immediately called the Police, and shortly after a Sheriff came over. In October they put up a six-foot wooden fence in their front yard, on their side of the boundary, which made us very happy, thinking that things would go back to normal. We were wrong! That fence was just the beginning of a different kind of trouble.

A package came through Prime for a female renter next door (the family rent a room or two to individuals), and she came asking for it late at night; she admitted sending the package to my address knowingly because her friend, the homeowner, told her I would give it to her. Of course, I was furious, but it was late and I didn’t want to start a fight. I gave it to her and filed a report with the Police department the following day. It appears the lady checked my mailbox as it wasn’t closed properly in the morning. Prior to filing the report, I received a second package and immediately contacted a customer representative from Amazon Prime, who confirmed that two packages where sent to my address under that name, but the name couldn’t be found in the system even though it seemed that the person was a Prime member. That made me wonder if this person had created an account using my address?! When I spoke with an officer, this is what I was told:

Approach the person and tell them not to use my address
For packages left on my property (if sent at my address), take them out of my property or out of my mailbox and place them on the street. I will not be liable if they get lost.
For mail, write on the envelop “Return to sender”, “Wrong address” or “Unknown, doesn’t live here”, and put it back in the mailbox or hand it to the mail carrier.

The second package was left on the street.
We have lived here almost fifteen years; we got along with all our neighbors and all this time, we have never received a single mail for previous owners; yet, our next door neighbors believe they can use our address as they please! The tenant next door has lived there for a year now, but suddenly, with the approval of the homeowner, uses our address. I have checked all the previous owners and tenants who lived there, and there is no one with that last name.

Today, December 20th, my husband found some mail in our mailbox, with the same last name (different first name) sent to our address. The mail is from Netspend, a prepaid debit card for personal & commercial use. This is were I think they went too far, as it involves money. It is unknown if they are committing fraud or if they are just avoiding to make payments; however, it is clear that they are committing some type of address fraud. I will be calling Netspend first thing in the morning, and then I will be going to the post office to talk to the Postal Inspector. We do not want to get involved in something illegal in the future, unbeknown to us.

I wish people could respect themselves enough and avoid unfortunate situations. If you need to use someone else’s property, just ask and don’t assume it’s okay by default. It’s illegal to open someone’s mailbox and a federal crime to open or destroy mail that is not intended for you.

My respect, love and kindness for others has always brought me luck; even though we have bad neighbors next door, we have good relationships with everyone else. As of now, the other neighbors are looking out for us, and we are very grateful. What can you do to fight address fraud?

Change your mailbox to one with a lock, if needed
Install cameras around your property
Check your credit report regularly
Go paperless
Avoid sharing your personal information
Talk to your postal inspector

“Never stop being a good person because of bad people.” — Jay Shetty

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By JM Perez

Sefl-Esteem Health and Wellness Education Life Lessons

The Filth Beneath

By JM PerezNovember 18, 20213 min read684 views

“Never judge a stranger by its clothes.” — Zachary Taylor

I have heard people saying that Covid-19 brings out the worst in many people. We’ve all seen it or been victimized by it. From bullying, discrimination, to racism, you name it. I personally do not think the pandemic is to be blamed; I believe many people are simply using it to reveal their true personalities, to be true to themselves. What I have noticed the most, is the filth some people live in and the filth some of those individuals impose on others.

On Tuesday for instance, I watched as a child from a parked car ahead of me dropped a water bottle out the window and the grandmother acted like it was the norm. I quickly grabbed my phone and took a picture of the bottle and the license plate. Today, I watched as the child and her father exited the car, and the child dropped a small ziploc bag next to a stop sign. The father too, acted like it was acceptable, even as he saw me.

Unless told and thought otherwise, that child will grow to behave exactly like her parents and be stuck in an endless cycle of bad behavior.

"Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity, and precision." — Suze Orman — *Image Source: QuoteFancy.com.*

I have seen many filthy individuals and I thought I had seen it all, until a few months ago, in August. One family moved into the neighborhood a few years ago and have been working hard to make the place to their liking (trash, bad odor, weed, dead trees, an uncontrolled dog that jumped a six foot fence into our backyard multiple times, and so much more). During their first week, they introduced weed to the neighborhood and by the end of that year they gifted us mosquitos from a filthy standing water they didn’t care to drain.

At first I thought they were perhaps coming from a disassembled community and didn’t know better. One afternoon on the second week of August, I decided to close a window in the patio that I had opened earlier that morning. I saw the neighbor’s husband of his roof, looking into my property as if he was searching for something. He looked all around him and then looked into my property one more time before walking towards his chimney. From there he unzipped his pants and urinated on his chimney; you could clearly see the stream of urine running through the chimney. Thinking that I may be seeing things, I called my son, who saw it too. Once he was done, he wiped his hands on his shirt and started cleaning pine needles off his roof. I don’t know why he chose to expose himself in such a lewd manner.

*“Filthy water cannot be washed.” — African Proverb*

I was grossed out. How can someone defile his own property? I remembered how after each rain fall, I could smell the stench of urine, while walking in my backyard. It made no sense to me. I began thinking about the people I shook hands with in the past, the people I hired for some home repairs, the tools we borrowed from other neighbors when we just moved in, etc. I stopped shaking hands with people four years ago, opting for verbal greetings and sometimes a small bow. My kids know not to shake hands with anyone.

“Hygiene is two thirds of health.” — Lebanese Proverb

I understand that depending on our jobs, we cannot be clean at all times; however, there are things we shouldn’t do either like, shaking hands, sharing items, touching things in common surfaces (faucets, door handles, light switches, electronics, and other commonly shared things), etc. Washing our hands as soon as we can and as often as we can with soap and water, or using hand sanitizer is one of the best things we can do for ourselves.

Be cautious around everyone and always practice cleanliness.

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By JM Perez

Strength in Small Things Inspire Life Lessons People

Racists don’t hate; they fear

By JM PerezJanuary 9, 20215 min read1.9K views

All human beings are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).
All of human life is equally valued in God’s eyes (Genesis 9:5-6).
All human life is sacred because all humans are made in the image of God, who is sacred (Genesis 9:8-10).

“Racists don’t hate; they fear.”

Racism can be found in every part and corner of the World. It has always existed and it is as old as human civilization. Racism, which is fueled by fear evolved from jealousy, envy, greed and murder. Racism is not about a specific race, it is also found within a same racial group (ethnocentrism, xenocentrism, same-race discrimination,… etc.)
Racism happens through every type of people from all walks of life. You can be white and be biased against other white people as you can be a person of color and be biased against other people of color.

The hostility of racism is more apparent today than ever and has been taken too far.
The first murder of all times is recounted in Genesis 4:1-16, when Cain killed his brother Abel in a fit of jealousy. Cain feared that God would not love him as much as He loved his brother. This was the beginning of the hatred between brothers. Each and everyone of us is subject to sinful impulses and the only way to win the battle against these desires is to choose to love by practicing acceptance.

*“Racism is not about hate, but the ability to control.” — Joan Ambu*
*Image Credit: Nikkolas Smith*

“Hate is self-inflicting, self-destructive.”

People who hate are simply silently crying for help. They are drowning in delusions and projecting their self-inflicted wounds to the World. So, next time you come across someone who blurs out slurs and other crazy nonsense, be cool and walk away. Such individuals are not at peace with themselves.

You cannot hate what you do not understand. And once you come to understand that which you thought you hated, you start fearing it. Why? Because at this point you realize that this thing or that person is equal or better than you. You see its quality and potential and you still refuse to accept it. So you turn bitter and you want it gone without given it a chance to exist and without given yourself a chance to get to know the person. In the end, you still are not at peace, because the fear remains.

The fear of the unknown pushes some people to use all means to control it. People should be proud of who they are, of their origin and heritage. We should not, however, be proud of being racist; there is no trophy for such title, just penalties and sanctions.

*“Racism is the fear of one’s race disappearing or being overshadowed by another and becoming powerless.” — Joan Ambu*
*Image Credit: Dolly Li*

“Racism is the fear of the unknown.”

The real racists usually don’t acknowledge it because they understand the weight of the word; they find ways to prove the contrary. These individuals show little to no respect for other races and they have a peculiar way of revealing their true nature in everything they do or say. How can you recognize such people? Through their actions, non-actions and choice of words. These individuals lack empathy and when questioned, become defensive (they have been caught).

The “proud” racists a.k.a brainwashed, are just ignorant. These are the individuals whose parents sang to them from birth that other races are inferior and they grew up believing the lie. You cannot be a racist if you do not grasp the impact of the word. If you ask these people why they are so proud of being racists, none will give you a satisfactory answer or one close to making sense. When questioned, these individuals become offensive (they lack knowledge on the subject).
With the exception of those who have educated themselves on the subject and those whose forefathers were subjected to slavery, you do not understand what it means to be dehumanized if you have never been a target of it. To be proud of something so wrong and not being able to sympathize with someone else’s pain means you have lost your humanity.

Change starts with the person needing the change:

Change starts with me. It starts with you and the rest flows.
Our actions should always begin with self-reflection; we should talk less and listen more.
Show others how you want to be treated and it starts with you being kind to yourself and then treating others with the same kindness.
Don’t be violent and don’t respond to violence. Two wrongs have never made a right and silence does not equate defeat.
Don’t let anyone drag you in their scheme – don’t willingly assist them in achieving their mission; there is no gain for you.
When told to do something that feels unsettling, ask why, just like little children do, until you get a fair answer. Children have no other choice but to listen to their parents (who should know better). Once mature, they should seek the truth by doing their own research.
Parents, do not rob your children of their innocence for your own agendas.

Racists are not confident individuals; they have been conditioned for too long to accept their ignorance. Confident people are happy people; they don’t belittle others because they have nothing to fear, nothing to lose. Most racists have little to no knowledge of their history and origins or they are simply ashamed of it.
They know quite well, that they too “do not belong” and so, they dislike sharing space with others for fear of being overshadowed. Ignorant people don’t like to be educated, therefore arguing with, or attempting to convince an ignorant person is a waste of time. We can only pray for their hearts and eyes to open to the truth and challenge themselves to do better.

In the face of racism, we must decry the injustice. I salute each and everyone of you for joining the fight against racism and promoting inclusion for all. Let us all be a part of the solution. Together we can create a better and safer World by becoming the voice of a silent person.

In the midst of chaos and the unknown, always choose to love.

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By JM Perez

Sefl-Esteem Parenting Strength of The Small Children Education Inspire Life Lessons People

Proving Yourself Right

By JM PerezMay 31, 20192 min read1.5K views

Yesterday we attended the Sixth Graders Award Celebration at my kids school and I was so proud of my son. He has been on honor roll for seven years straight without fail. Every teacher knew my son or at least heard about him; and contrary to students who request a particular teacher, my son was sought out by teachers and he never let himself down.

Last year, I wrote about the injustices he experienced by his former teacher as well as a few classmates. By mid February, I was fed up and informed the school principal that I was filling a complaint against the teacher after contacting the US Department of Education as I strongly believed that my child’s rights had been violated.

The following week, my son was placed in a different classroom with an amazing teacher.

*“Don’t do it to prove them wrong. Do it to prove yourself right.”*
*Image source:* *FearlessMotivation.com*

Of course I know my children are geniuses, still, I told my son not to worry about what anyone thinks and just be the best he can be. He listened to his new teacher, followed instructions, kept studying hard and it paid off. Nothing changed in his routine and he proved himself right. Prior to giving him an award, his teacher said, this is a kid who came to me toward the end of the school year and described him as “very respectful, polite, kind, helpful and takes his work seriously.”
You should have seen his former teacher’s guilty face when he received his certificates. She put on a forced smile, couldn’t look straight and didn’t applaud when he was mentioned. As long as he proved her wrong, it was all good.

Talk to your children and encourage them on a daily basis. Teach them and make sure they understand right from wrong to avoid embarrassing and unfortunate situations. Don’t sit still when it comes to their rights; you are not alone (even if others make you feel that way). No one is above the law. Speak up and reach out.

I didn’t get rid of my files, I just moved them aside. If I hear about another student being victimized by this female teacher, I will go ahead and file the complain against her and against the school as well since it is known that she abuses her powers and yet nothing has been done to right the wrong.

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By JM Perez

Parenting Strength of The Small Children Education Inspire Life Lessons People

Toxic Teachers: The Silent Bullies

By JM PerezOctober 12, 20186 min read2K views

When the bully oppresses you without using words …

Child abuse just doesn’t happen at home. It happens everywhere, especially at schools and from the individuals you would suspect the least: teachers. It seems to be a growing trend lately. Teachers, the silent bullies. These abuses are not limited to assaults, public humiliation, unfair grades, isolation, discrimination, etc. Bullies are finding new methods to upgrade their game and it is our duty as parents to be watchful.

For the first time in the eight years that my son has attended an elementary school, he is dealing with a teacher who doesn’t like him and who is trying her best to fail him wherever and whenever possible. My son doesn’t slack off and has always been an A student for the past 7 years (above grade level). Every single one of his previous teachers had nothing but good thoughts and best wishes for him. This year, he’s met someone who wants to break his spirit: Mrs. Diaz.

I remember a few years back, when teachers would either call a parent with concerns or send a note home. Things were really good then because of the ongoing communication. Now, some teachers think they can toy with our children just because, you know, they have some authority over our children while we are not watching. My kids are extremely respectful and their greatest flaw is that they are perfectionists and sometimes too smart for their own good. I have an accent due to the fact that I went through a French education system and I have always encourage my children to correct me whenever my pronunciation is off.

A couple of weeks ago, during parent-teacher conference, I realized that my son’s teacher is holding a grudge against him for correcting her in front of the whole class. Mind you, she didn’t bring the issue up until I asked about his behavior in class to which she responded, “he’s rude to me, correcting me all the time.” This is a woman who says she doesn’t believe in punishment, yet she doesn’t hesitate to sanction my son based on her mood of the day. Of course, I apologized and asked why I wasn’t notified of it. I instructed my son right there to stop correcting her. She went on bragging about working towards her master’s degree and her years of teaching. She made the mistake of telling us a story about refusing to help a former student who used to be rude to her. Red flag! Did this woman just tell me she will ruin my son’s life if he keeps on correcting her? Is this behavior acceptable to anyone? For a school with bad ratings and extremely low rankings, these are the type of teachers they hire? Are they just out to destroy our children? And we wonder why our children are struggling so much! Go figure!

Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top.

This school strongly believes that the bad behavior of a single student should tarnish the entire class. The school seems to take pride in this strange idea. The principal says he doesn’t agree with it; however, he told me straight out “I can’t do that” when I suggested he could advice his teachers to stop penalizing the whole class for the behavior of one student. He doesn’t agree, yet he let’s it slide? This is abuse!
They threaten students to sit them next to someone they dislike/don’t get along with, if they don’t behave. I know this for sure because I talk to other parents, to other kids and to mine. How do you think these kids will feel toward a classmate who gets them punished every time because of the classmate’s bad behavior? Isn’t this another way of encouraging bullying? Am I missing something here?

Sure, they have fun activities for the kids, none of which really help struggling students to learn, read or write. How about we start listening to parents’ concerns and get those kids some much needed help? What exactly are they celebrating when their school is doing so poorly? 4827th of 5,662 California Public Elementary Schools (rankings for the 2017-18 school year, via SchoolDigger.com). I personally know two parents who took their bright kids out of this school due to discrimination and bad management. Most teachers are great and you can tell teaching is their calling. Others are show-offs who yearn for recognition and play favorites (these are the ones who always look forward to teacher appreciation week).

“Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must fear most and that is the indifference of good men.” – The Boondock Saints

The thing I despise most at this school (and everywhere else) is the fact that some teachers deny kids their right to use the bathroom and force them to hold it. The idea of maintaining control over kids has gone too far. They will give you excuses such as allowing kids to use the bathroom disrupts the class or that kids just want to go out and play (some probably do). What about when the teachers need to leave? Don’t they go as they please, as often as they please and stay as long as they please?
No excuse gives them the right to put our children’s health at risk. In my daughters class for instance, points are deducted each time (from the group table where the kid seats) whenever a kid from that table leaves to use the bathroom and in other classes, the kids have to move their pin down whenever they go. What if a child develops urinary tract infection, kidney failure from bladder pressure or bowel obstruction, will the school take responsibility? We cannot tell kids when to go and when to hold in waste because that’s not how the body works. This is not right and it’s not a healthy thing to do. This is abuse and neglect.

My kids cannot function properly without water and they need plenty of it throughout the day. At every start of the school year, I make sure their teachers are aware of it. And I also request that they please allow them to use the bathroom whenever they need to. I have seen too many kids covered in waste because their teachers told them to hold it and they couldn’t. I am grateful for my well behaved children, who know to respect their teachers and understand that they are in charge of their own bodies. I have instructed them to politely request to step out when needed and to step out anyway, if their teachers deny them the right to do so. It is their right.

“Educate your children about abusive personalities, to prepare them for the possibility of meeting such people.” – Joan Ambu

I know we are busy as parents, but please, please, take a few minutes every day to talk to your children. Find out about their day, ask if anything good or bad happened at school and how their teachers treat them. Get involved. Many kids are struggling, not because they are not able, but because they are being silently bullied by their teachers and they feel like they have no voice. Be their voice. Be their strength. Fight their fight and win.
I spoke with a few good teachers who want to see change at the school. But when the head is rotten, what do you expect? Good teachers are a school’s greatest asset, they shape and impact student lives. These students, in turn, are what make the school great.

Here are a few red flags you need to pay attention to:

When you raise concern and the teacher ignores you (they are guilty or simply don’t care)
When your child complains about a teacher and begs you not to report ( they are afraid of retaliation)
When the principal has no interested in getting involved (it’s a toxic school)
Bad grades or drop in grades if your child was great (the teacher is discriminating)
Stress, sadness if you had a joyful child (abusive teacher)
Sudden loss of interest in everything (verbal, mental and psychological abuse)

I don’t think the school will change unless someone steps in and cleans house. You know birds of a feather flock together. Every end of year the school sends out a form to rate its performance for that year and gives opportunity to parents to tell them what they like, dislike and what changes they would like to see. I thought it was a wonderful idea, unfortunately there hasn’t been a single change or improvement (none that I have seen to date).

People don’t change, they adapt when odds are against them. I urge you parents to talk to your children and file complaints with your districts if the schools are unwilling to work with you. Hopefully a higher authority will rid these toxic schools of their bad seeds.

Update here.

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By JM Perez